


You got fired from your cover job, Jesse.

by GucciRhymesWithDucky



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant (technically), Crack, Fine Dining, Gen, Humor, Terrible Italian, ranch dressing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:54:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22422907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GucciRhymesWithDucky/pseuds/GucciRhymesWithDucky
Summary: A chance encounter changes the next ten or so minutes of McCree's life. For "100 words of ***FINE DINING*******."





	You got fired from your cover job, Jesse.

**Author's Note:**

> Should've gone with Reyes' band idea, tbh.

Jesse'd not had a lot of practice balancing a serving tray but he was starting to get the hang of it. A starter dish of pasta in anchovy sauce for the gentleman, breaded mozzarella sticks for the lady, and a refill on the Pepsi… The woman stared at the fresh glass of ice-cold Pepsi and then at Jesse with wide, hard eyes.

"Ah-scuzamee, signyeeora?" he faltered.

"Why do you not ASK first BEFORE bringing me a refill?"

Jesse held his hand over his heart. "Beg your pardon…?"

"I said ******ASK FIRST,******** instead of making ASSUMPTIONS about what I want." The lady bit out every word, her tone hot enough to blister. "You don't KNOW if I want another Pepsi or if I want a Sprite instead. How hard is it to BE ********CONSIDERATE********* of what the ****CUSTOMER***** actually wants, instead of being LAZY and making ****ASSUMPTIONS.******"

Jesse cleared his throat and said, "The-ah Sprite is a Coca-Cola product, signyeeora, we-ah don't s—"

" ** _*******************DON'T TALK BACK TO ME.*****************************_** " Other patrons and even the omnic maître d' were starting to stare. The woman gestured to the cups of ranch she'd been served with her appetizer. "And **WHERE** is the marinara sauce that comes with the mozzarella sticks?? Did you just ******ASSUME************ that because I asked for eight cups of ranch that you could leave off the marinara sauce that *****COMES WITH THE DISH**** AS IT SAYS RIGHT ON THE MENU? Or are you too lazy and irresponsible to **********KNOW THE MENU?????***** ******" Godalmighty, how was she doing that with her mouth?

Jesse's hand twitched to where his flashbang would hang on his belt, but found it missing. Somewhere, Reyes strangled on a laugh.


End file.
